Counselling & Psychotherapy in Crawley & Online
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are - Anais Nin
Hello, my name is Nicola Hare dip.couns.mncs(accred). I am a fully qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor in Crawley specialising in anxiety. I also work with a variety of presenting issues with individuals age 15 + from all backgrounds. This includes work with the LGBTQ+ community, helping teens at risk of self-harming.
I tailor my approach to each person in front of me. For some this may mean working somatically (with the body) or creatively. This can work well for those who have experienced trauma at an early age or who find it difficult to put their feelings into words. Working somatically or cretively helps to access and process early or pre-memory trauma and is best carried out face-to-face (Crawley) rather than online.
My main modality of psychotherapy is Transactional Analysis which offers a wealth of different ways we can work effectively together with your presenting issue.
I have worked as a volunteer with West Sussex Carers Support and in bereavement counselling with St. Wilfrid Hospice. I continue to work with the Crawley Homicide Department and with charities such as Settle.
If you are new to counselling and psychotherapy, I understand you may be nervous or have questions about the counselling process so please feel free to call for a very informal chat to help you decide if counselling is right for you at this time.
New Online Meditation Sessions
Learn somatic awareness, that is, small cues from your body that tell you how you are doing. By doing this you can help yourself out of the trap of impulsive reactions to stress, outbursts, unhealthy coping mechanisms and better meet your needs before they come out in a way you wish they wouldn't.
These meditations are helpful in learning to regulate your nervous system and in helping you cope better with stress, anxiety, and symptoms of CPTSD.
They are held twice a month on Thursdays 12.15pm - 1pm and are £6 per session or £10 for both in the same month.
For more information please go to the Classes & Workshops tab.
Latest Blog...
Tips for Mental Health
Self Chatter
Most people are shocked at what they find when they notice and write down what they have been saying to themselves. They've been saying it so long, it's gone unnoticed. When asked if they'd say these things to someone else it's usually a resounding 'no!'. When asked how it's helping and serving them, the answer is usually, 'it isn't'. This can be a pwerful and liberating exercise. If you notice any negative narratives, what could you replace them with that serves you better?
Gratitude Journal
Most people have heard of this writing three things down you are grateful for exericise, but do you really know what this could do for you? Most pursuits of happiness lead to temporary lifts in mood. Repeating this exercise can balance the Negativity Bias that our brains evolved to have, and lead to lasting changes in your base levels of happiness. The trick is to stay with the feeling each gratitude brings you. A small exercise with big potentual for changes!
What Do You Watch?
Think about what you watch, read and listen to on TV, on social media, in books. Does it correlate to how you want to feel and think? Does is match the things you would like to be doing? Make one small change by watching, reading or listening to something that is inline with where you want to be and notice your inner experience afterwards.
First Step
Thinking of all the steps to reach your goal can overhwlem the brain and zap your motivation. If you only think of the first step, your brain can cope with that and it is more likely you will find the energy for it. If the first step feels too big, break that down too. It could be as small as 'turn on my lap top', do an internet search for... or 'get the hoover out'. These smaller tasks are less overwhelming to think about than 'write me essay', 'decide which (insert product) I'm going to buy or 'hoover the whole house. Keep all your energy in and for that first step.
To Do List vs Wish List
If you get annoyed with yourself for not completing a list, you are missing the fact that you are great for doing any of it, or for even having a list! Changing it from a to-do list to a wish list can help your brain reframe the tasks. It changes it from a 'have to' to a 'could do' or even a 'want to'. There is more energy in could and want than there is in a have to - it's just the way your brain is wired!
24 Hours Time
What you did in the last 24 hours will have an impact on how you feel now, and what you do now will have an impact on how you feel in the next 24 hours. So it it feels pointless to make that little decision to shower, walk, work out etc, remember this. Does knowing this spur you on to make that one little choice that could help you out in the not so distance future?
Perfectionism
Now this could be a three day workshop so without going too far into it, know this. There is no prize for you doing everything perfectly. There is only stress, stress if you do and stress if you don't. Can you notice when you are striving for perfection and ask yourself how it is serving you? Can you step out of this goal and enjoy the process for what it is? You have worth just as you are, you do not have to do ANYTHING perfectly to have that, you already have it.
How Do You Meet Anxiety?
Behind Every Behaviour is a Need
Whether you are snapping at loved ones, reaching for a favourite bad habit like smoking or drinking, seeking affairs, or hiding under the duvet, there is likely to be a need behind the behaviour you wish you could kick.
It can be frustrating partaking in behaviours you regret after and it is too easy to pile on the shame or beat yourself up for it. Shame and regret often leads to worse self esteem, more stress, and a higher chance of click here
Anyone Can
If you are suffering right now or struggling in silence, you may want to consider offloading in a safe space with a counsellor in Crawley or online. Talking can lessen the intensity and normalise your experience. Read more
