Nicola Hare Counselling & Psychotherapy in Crawley

About Counselling. Counselling

About Counselling and Transactional Analysis

Talking therapies are used to help make sense of difficulties with the aim of overcoming them.
We are all looking at life with our own very unique lens which is why what can be easy for one person to deal with, can profoundly affect another. This can cause feelings of isolation, a belief there is something inherently wrong with us, or comparison and judgement towards ourselves.

Counselling can help to normalize how you are feeling and lessen self judgement to create a breathing space towards finding a way through together.

About Transactional Analysis

TA is an observable modality of psychotherapy created by Eric Berne. Eric was a psychiatrist who didn't like the one-up position of psychotherapist to client and brought in equality between client and therapist.

TA doesn't pigeon-hole or treat a symptom, it looks at the whole person in the room as they present today.

TA has a vast array of theory and tools a counsellor can draw from depending on the client. It can help you understand why you do what you do, feel how you feel, and think what you think even though these ways are not making you happy. Bringing these patterns into consciousness can allow you to gently decide if your old ways are still helpful to you or if you would like to change them while supported in therapy.

Often our way of thinking, feeling and behaving are determined by old beliefs we didn't even know we had. Unearthing these and working them through can change not just the symptom that brought you through the door, but help you in many areas of your life.

As children we must adapt to our care givers in order to survive. It is here we make beliefs about ourselves and others and if and how we can (or can't) get our needs met. The clever little beings that we were found what worked for us back then. But those same strategies we needed then may still be running our decisions now. limiting our lives and causing great emotional pain.

As human beings, we tend to want to avoid negative feelings or feelings that seem too big for us to cope with. It is in this avoidance that we can create a whole world of suffering for ourselves. This can look like substance abuse and addiction, to feeling alone and desperate to connect with another but believing this cannot happen for you.

Learning to turn towards painful or negative emotions can help you to find healthier ways to cope, to start to process them, and ultimately not allow them to limit or dictate your decisions.

What is the Difference between Counselling, Psychotherapy & Mindfulness?

Counselling tends to be short term work, helping you with a temporary difficulty such as a sudden loss or change.
Psychotherapy is mid to longer term work helping you with long term, complex or repetitive issues such as negative relationship patterns, low self-esteem, self-sabotage, anger, and impulsive behaviour.

Mindfulness for Stress 8 Week Course. I have run this course in a group setting and one-to-one and seen great changes and results with my clients. It tends to create 'aha' moments and 'Oh that's why I do that' statements without too much sharing about your process, although if you wish to share of course, you can. It involves a mixture of being taught theory and neuroscience in simplistic, relevant terms, formal mindfulness practices to help you begin to listen to clues from your mind and body, and to notice and accept what is there, and small noticing tasks to do at home each week designed to take up very little time.

Most people say this course gives back more time than it takes to do because you no longer or less often fall down the same pit holes you have been falling down, can avoid the consequences of previous negative actions or thoughts, and can recover more quickly from the times that you do repeat old habits. This course is great for many issues such as anxiety, grief, burnout, relationship issues, 'bad' habits, stress and resilience and chronic health conditions.

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